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Sweat Gets In Your Eyes

HaloHeadband

Oh, when your heart’s on fire
You must realize
Sweat gets in your eyes

With apologies to the Platters.

On Saturday, I went out for a long ride. I left the house at roughly 6:30 in the morning. It was very cool. Only 14 Celsius. I wore my Spring/Fall base layer to provide a bit of warmth. Great ride. Beautiful morning.

On Sunday, I had to delay my long ride until about 3:00 in the afternoon. It was hot, hazy and humid. The temperature was over 27 Celsius. The humidex made it feel closer to 35 Celsius. Tough ride. Started to boink towards the end.

After only 2 or 3 kilometers, I had to wipe the sweat from my eyes. And I had to keep wiping the sweat every few kilometers. The sweat was literally pouring into my eyes. Sweat in the eyes is very, very annoying.

It is a very delicate maneuver this sweat removal activity.

I have to remove my eyewear with one hand and use that same hand to maintain control of the bike and hold on to the eyewear without dropping it. At higher rates of speed, it is not necessarily a good idea to be hands off the bike for the length of time it takes to wipe sweat.

So, with the right hand, I keep control of the bike. With the left hand, I remove the eyewear. I grasp the handle of the eyewear with my thumb and forefinger and then place my left hand over the hood of the bike’s handlebar. Somehow, I can find a way to hold the hood and the eyewear handle. I can then use my cycling glove on my right hand to wipe the sweat off my forehead and out from my eyes.

Once complete, the left hand replaces the eyewear making sure that Rule #37 is observed:

Rule #37 // The arms of the eyewear shall always be placed over the helmet straps.
No exceptions. This is for various reasons that may or may not matter; it”™s just the way it is.

All of this while moving along somewhere north of 30 kilometers per hour.

I use a style of cycling glove which includes fleece over the top of the glove for nose wiping. It can help to deal with exercise induced rhinitis (EIR) — a common affliction for cyclists. Of course, you can always execute the snot rocket protocol when riding in hot, humid weather to free the fleece for sweat wiping.

The fleece on the cycling glove must never be called into dual service. Sweat removal and snot removal should never,ever be combined. In my opinion.

I use the right hand glove for sweat and, unfortunately, I also use the right hand glove for EIR. That might have something to do with me being right-handed. It can be surprisingly easy to forget that the right hand glove has been called into service to deal with EIR when attempting to also deal with sweat in the eyes.

After several seasons of battling sweat in my eyes, I finally broke down and ordered the Halo Headband. Many cyclists recommend the Halo as a way to deal with the sweat. The band includes a ridge which guides the sweat away from the eyes and back towards the ears.

For whatever reason, sweat pouring down by my ears is not nearly as annoying as sweat pouring into my eyes.

The joys of cycling.

Defeated

Having been repeatedly demolished at Halo by my children, I have no choice but to seek out help. My hope? How to beat your kids at Halo.

I can do this. I must do this.

If you are suffering the same way I am, there is hope. Follow these 8 simple tips. Oh. And don’t tell my kids. This will be our secret.

  1. Practice on your own preferably when the kids are sleeping. Never let them see you practice; that will only make them practice more or tease you more when they beat you.
  2. Play through the campaign mode in CO-OP with your kid. Not only will you get better, but you get to see what they do and live through it.
  3. Don’t play one of them alone. If you don’t have two kids, grab a neighborhood kid or reasonable facsimile. Preferably one with equal skills to your kid.
  4. Establish an alliance with one of them before playing. Or do your best to generate some sort of competitive animosity between the two kids. This is a very important step if you cannot win alone. Use any and all tactics at your disposal to accomplish this.
  5. Fuel the competition, once the game begins, by commenting on every small victory that either of them have against one another.
  6. Gather grenades and the best weapons.
  7. Use the grenades and the weapons when their health is reasonably low so that you get easy kills. This method is known as “cherry picking”. Also, if you think you are about to die, throw a grenade at your feet to try to kill the oncoming opponent.
  8. Repeat steps 2 through 7 until victorious.