Chuck Norris doesn”™t read, he just stares the book down til it gives up it”™s information.

Chuck Norris doesn”™t wear a watch, he decides what time it is.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.