“Hello, can I speak to Richard please?”
“This is Richard.”
“Hi. This is Andrew from Bell. I’m afraid I have some bad news…”
I don’t remember much of what he said after that. Something about being too far from the box. I do remember him laughing and saying things like: “8 kilometers from the box! What were they thinking? Why did they tell you that your line could support DSL? There is no way you can get DSL out there. No chance. Not in a million years.”
The world went dark after that. Images began to flash in my mind. Very slowly mind you as I was trying to download them with my current Internet service: rotary dial telephones, 300 baud modems, turtles, smart cars, GO trains, traffic in Toronto, wireless rural Internet access. And the music! Paul Simon singing “slow down, you move too fast” over and over.
The horror. The horror.