Having been repeatedly demolished at Halo by my children, I have no choice but to seek out help. My hope? How to beat your kids at Halo.

I can do this. I must do this.

If you are suffering the same way I am, there is hope. Follow these 8 simple tips. Oh. And don’t tell my kids. This will be our secret.

  1. Practice on your own preferably when the kids are sleeping. Never let them see you practice; that will only make them practice more or tease you more when they beat you.
  2. Play through the campaign mode in CO-OP with your kid. Not only will you get better, but you get to see what they do and live through it.
  3. Don’t play one of them alone. If you don’t have two kids, grab a neighborhood kid or reasonable facsimile. Preferably one with equal skills to your kid.
  4. Establish an alliance with one of them before playing. Or do your best to generate some sort of competitive animosity between the two kids. This is a very important step if you cannot win alone. Use any and all tactics at your disposal to accomplish this.
  5. Fuel the competition, once the game begins, by commenting on every small victory that either of them have against one another.
  6. Gather grenades and the best weapons.
  7. Use the grenades and the weapons when their health is reasonably low so that you get easy kills. This method is known as “cherry picking”. Also, if you think you are about to die, throw a grenade at your feet to try to kill the oncoming opponent.
  8. Repeat steps 2 through 7 until victorious.
1 reply
  1. Matt S
    Matt S says:


    Ohhh man, I couldn’t imagine my parents trying to beat me at Halo…

    Or hardly anyone else for that matter >=D. hehe.

    I’ve followed the series since the first installment. Very fun. Impeccable taste as always, Cleaver family.


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