Tinnitus

I know what it’s like not to be able to fall asleep at night because of the noise of a jet turbine in my head.

I’ve been there.

I know what it’s like to be incredibly exhausted in the afternoon … following a restless night … but not want to take even a brief nap, because I knew I’d wake up with twice the roar I started with.

I’ve been there.

I know what it’s like to want to beat my head against the wall because of the noise. I know what it’s like for the idea of putting food to my mouth to cause my stomach to knot up with nausea because of the trains going by in my head.

I know what it’s like to be an adult male in his late forties and want to put my head on my 80-year-old mother’s lap so she can rub it and make things quiet … and I know what it’s like to see tears in her eyes because she can’t help.

I’ve been there.

I know what it’s like to want to die. I know what it’s like to see a loving wife sick with worry and fear. And I know what it’s like to just about fall apart when a five year old son looks at his father’s ears and says, “Daddy, I wish I could just reach in there with my fingers and pull that bad noise out so you could be happy again.”

You see, I’ve been there, too. So I think I know damn tinnitus.

And I’m here to tell you that you can overcome it.

I hope he is right. I see the doctor tomorrow.

Sometimes I feel like I am going insane with this noise in my head.