All The News

Saturday morning offers me a chance to really get into the news. Free from all other distractions, I enjoy about a half hour to go through the front section. I can connect to what is really happening “out there”. Beyond my house. Beyond my street. And beyond my city.

I can gain perspective. Insight. Even wisdom.

Here is what I learned.

An al-Qaeda strategist condemns Canada’s fanatic adherence to Christianity. The signs are well hidden. Canada has a fanatic adherence to Christianity but no one is supposed to know. How did he find out?

Andrea O’Reilly, the founder of the Association for Research on Mothering claims that it is much, much harder to be a mother today than it was in the “oppressed” 1950s. I was born in the 1950s so I guess I must be oppressed. I wonder if it was any easier for people in the 1850s?

Sheil Taj el-Din Al Hilali, a Muslim cleric, was suspended from duty when he compared scantily dressed women to uncovered meat.

Rowan Williams, the Archbishop of Canterbury, said that to ban a Muslim veil would be politically dangerous. Apparently not as dangerous as banning a Muslim cleric from uncovered meat.

Kids will have to sweat to get the benefit of a tax credit for child sports. How much sweat? That is up to Dr. Kellie Leitch to decide. But lawn bowling, darts and horseback riding won’t qualify. Not enough sweat.

Justice Marshall Rothstein was appointed to the Supreme Court this year. He drinks six cups of coffee for breakfast. He starts work at 10am but not before he stops at Starbucks to get a giant cup of decaf. I always wondered how Justice Rothstein started his day. Good thing he gets a large decaf at Starbucks. Too much caffeine is bad for the system.

A superbug is lurking on five floors of the Centre hospitalier Honore-Mercier in Saint-Hyacinthe. And, just in case you were wondering about the superbug, it is Clostridium difficile. It erupts as violent diarrhea that often defies treatment. When it gets really bad, it explodes the colon and you die. How nice.

Members of the Assembly of the Church of the Universe in Toronto were charged with dealing pot. The church had over 2,000 members. Perhaps this is the evidence of Canada’s fanatic adherence to Christianity that the al-Qaeda strategist uncovered?

An Oshawa man, acquitted of murdering his mother-in-law because he was sleepwalking, is running for a seat on the Durham District School Board. Ken Parks is the only person in Canada ever acquitted of a murder because he was sleepwalking. I wonder. Is it any easier being a mother-in-law now than in the oppressed 1950s?

Belinda Stronach, concerned about being called a dog by her former boyfriend Peter Mackay, believes that the insult will have a chilling effect on women entering politics. She had nothing to say about Sheil Taj el-Din Al Hilali’s comment about scantily dressed women as uncovered meat. Every one has to dress up in Ottawa during the winter. This should have a warming effect on anyone entering politics. I am not sure whether it offsets the chilling effect one gets when called a dog by an ex-boyfriend.

And, finally, two Irishmen are selling Irish dirt to Irish Americans. $15 for a 340-gram bag. The demand, apparently, is absolutely phenomenal.

Reading the news keeps me informed. I have definitely found out what is happening “out there”. All in the front section of today’s National Post. A trusted source for news.

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