Chuck Norris doesn’t read, he just stares the book down til it gives up it’s information.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, he decides what time it is.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Happy birthday Chuck! Now please let me live.
My all time favorite:
Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad Chuck Norris never cries.