Archive for January, 2007
Take It To The Bank
Jan.31.2007
This was included as part of a package of material that I had to review for a business offsite.
The letter, shown below, is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by a 96-year-old woman. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the New York Times. I think it is splendid.
Dear Sir,
I am writing to thank you for bouncing my cheque with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month.
By my calculations, three nano-seconds must have elapsed between his presenting the cheque and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it. I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire salary, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only eight years.
You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account $30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank.
My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways. I noticed that whereas I personally attend to your telephone calls and letters, when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become.
From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person. My mortgage and loan repayments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by cheque, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate.
Be aware that it is an offence under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope. Please find attached an Application Contact Status which I require your chosen employee to complete.
I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative.
Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Notary Public, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof.
In due course, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me.
I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modeled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service. As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
Let me level the playing field even further. When you call me, press buttons as follows:
- To make an appointment to see me.
- To query a missing payment.
- To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.
- To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.
- To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.
- To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home.
- To leave a message on my computer, a password to access my computer is required. Password will be communicated to you at a later date to the Authorized Contact.
- To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 7.
- To make a general complaint or inquiry. The contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service.
While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call.
Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement.
May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous New Year.
Your Humble Client
The letter was written by Peter Wear, a columnist for the Courier Mail in Brisbane, Australia, for that publication’s “Perspectives” column. The letter was a humour piece and it was never published in The New York Times.
Vista Wow
Jan.30.2007
I’m pretty sure that Microsoft launched Vista. I think it was sometime this week. Was it yesterday?
You can show your Vista Wow here.
I’ve been running Vista Ultimate for a while now. I really like Vista. It has a lot of Mac-like features. And the overall look and feel of the UI is much improved over XP.
From a consumer perspective I think that there are way too many versions of Vista. This does not follow the principle of simplicity. When I buy a Mac, I get OS X. I don’t need to make a decision between basic, premium, ultimate, or business versions. Confusing.
And $500 for the Ultimate edition of Vista ($300 for an upgrade) is getting pretty steep. So much for driving down the cost of computing.
Would I recommend Vista for a Wintel platform? Yes. It has been stable and it is good looking. Just be aware that each version requires different things from the hardware. A fully decked out Vista Ultimate edition needs a well-equipped PC. You can check the advisor here to see if your system qualifies.
Microsoft Fights Back
Jan.29.2007
Some one passed this over to me. At gunpoint no less. Okay. I’ll stop.
Birthday Present
Jan.29.2007
We decided to celebrate my 50th birthday in a bit of style. A long week-end in Bermuda.
I know. Life is tough.
Progress
Jan.26.2007
Looks like the change in diet and daily exercise is having a positive impact. And faster than I expected. When I was last tested, I was in Stage 1 Hypertension. My Systolic BP was 143 and my Diastolic BP was 82.
I went on to a low sodium calorie restricted diet. And daily aerobic exercise. I have lost 8 pounds and I have kept the sodium below 3,000 mg. Some days even below 1,500 mg.
I had my blood pressure checked today and I am down to 137/77. This means that I am out of Stage 1 Hypertension. With the new readings, I am officially Prehypertension.
I am being challenged to get my weight down to a pretty low level and to get the blood pressure well below 120/80. I am using CalorieKing’s Nutrition and Exercise Manager to track progress. It has really helped me on this challenge.
Recording The Old Fashioned Way
Jan.26.2007
I will be starting a project in a few weeks where I will be engineering a Christmas CD project the old-fashioned way: live off the floor. We might do some overdubs but the approach is going to mirror the way recordings used to be done back in the old days.
My first session in Nashville was fairly typical of how recording projects were done back in the 70s: a couple of days tracking live off the floor and a couple of days mixing. The artists had to be good.
Today, the recording process can be quite clinical and time consuming. Most projects I work on often span four or five hundred hours in tracking and mixing.
The picture below is of a session at Capitol Records back in time. The tape deck is an Ampex Model 200A which was first introduced in 1947. I guess I will have to convert the studio to black and white and bring in the analog gear for the sessions.
Nifty and Fifty
Jan.25.2007
In a few weeks the big five-o birthday.
Starting to think that I should plan on doing something other than hanging out at home with my computer. But what? I have no idea.
Maybe I should pick up a new xbox game?
Microsoft Spin Control
Jan.24.2007
Interesting. Microsoft is paying a blogger to contribute to Wikipedia.
From Rick Jelliffe’s blog:
So I was a little surprised to receive email a couple of days ago from Microsoft saying they wanted to contract someone independent but friendly (me) for a couple of days to provide more balance on Wikipedia concerning ODF/OOXML. I am hardly the poster boy of Microsoft partisanship! Apparently they are frustrated at the amount of spin from some ODF stakeholders on Wikipedia and blogs.
The complete post is here.
OOXML is a Microsoft-sponsored variation of the Open Document Format electronic publishing standard. Lots of folks do not care for OOXML. Here is an example of some of the concerns on OOXML.
Information Week reported the following reaction from Wikipedia:
Wikipedia officials say they are less than impressed with Microsoft’s pay-for-play campaign. “At a minimum, it could be viewed as unethical,” says Wikipedia general counsel Brad Patrick. “This is a hot issue, and Microsoft wanting to soften the edges on an entry raises concerns about the perceived independence of both Wikipedia and Microsoft,” Patrick says.
The complete article is here.
Microsoft sees no issue with ethics. They are fine with paying bloggers to spread their point of view:
The spokesman insists the whole thing is above board because Jelliffe disclosed Microsoft’s offer of payment. “There was no effort to hide anything,” says Microsoft’s spokesman.
Financial terms were not disclosed. I wonder if Jelliffe got a free laptop?
Til Death Do Us Part
Jan.24.2007
MarketVision Research released a report that finds most Americans spend more time with their computers than with their spouses.
Not surprisingly, most Americans are not happy with their technology experience. The average American computer user wastes 12 hours a month because of computer problems with their Windows machine. Maybe, as Michael Wallent comments here, Vista will change that experience.
I will not admit to spending more time with my computer than my spouse. I’ve been married for almost 28 years. I’ve only used personal computers for 27.
I have collected pictures of some of the most stunning recording studios in the world and you can travel through the set by clicking 
